## Wednesday, October 29, 2008

### Complex numbers and complex questions!

Whats square root of -1?

Even if u had basic maths in school , you will realise that its i(defined as square root of negative).
Big deal..I have been dealin with this for almost half of my life (being an electrical engineer..i is impossible to escape)
But then sometimes I think its fine..but what does i mean in "reality". There are thousands of definations... i is the part of y axis of argand diagram...i means an operation of 90 degree rotation..etc etc..

i= sqrt(-1)

lets  define all this in "reality"

1= as in one ness..one apple , two apple..etc
sqrt= operation defining a number multiplied by the same (inverse)
-     = subtract(take away)

now what does i represent?

where is i in the "real world"?
1 is there, sqrt is there, subtract is there....but where the f\$%% is i?

first of all is "i" allowed in real numbers? what is it ?

I think i know the answer..or maybe its a guess..

There is no "i" in the real world ..because there is no number in the "real world". When I say that What I mean is that we may relate numbers to "one ness".."twoness" ..etc but they are just equivalences . One apple is equivalent to one orange ..but only when we imagine it to be so.

In that case the number one is imaginary. So is the operation sqrt and hence "i" is also imaginary. Its not different from 1,2,3...

Even operations like "additions" and sunbtractions are imaginary..
Let me explain..Suppose you say  1+1=2
I may ask you what does it mean in real world. ..? You might say that one banana and one banana makes 2 bananas. But look at this closely...What you have defined is a "rule" that you have empirically made. Its not a fundamental property of the "number"...
How do you know that after adding a million pair of bananas you might not get 1+1=1.5?

Hence is there any point relating numbers and mathematics to the real world?

A straight line is abstract and at most is a model. That it fits most observations is only a coincindence. How do we know for sure that a more fundamental shape doesnt exist?

Which brings me to the dilema that I found perplexing in school...
Why do teachers try to relate maths as a real life example? Isnt it factually and conceptually wrong? Isnt it wrong to teach that 1+1=2 because one banana plus one banana is equal to two bananas?
Isnt it better we just say that in our game called mathematics..these are symbols 1 and "+" is a operator. Lets define rules and play the game...
The game may be close to real life but its not real life...Not in all situations in real life will 1+1=2

### Of smaller gains and bigger losses...

How often do I feel that life has cheated me once again? Not very often ..but yes one does get this feeling that " oh shit! why did all this happen to me?" ...I too get it .
Sometimes I feel that why should I face it all when I really havent done any hark knowingly...Most often this feeling comes when som expectation of mine is met with dissapointment. When I feel that I almost have it made and suddenly everything crashes before my eyes for no apparent fault of mine.
It also happens when I have almost a bargian struck and suddenly the bargain gets undone. Its so dissapointing..Infact there used to be times i used to almost get down with depression . Why me ?

But as I have grown and matured(hopefully)...I have started getting a bit less jittery over these things . And I owe it to my father....(apart from owing a million other things including his beloved transistor that i broke when i was five).
One day as I was mulling over some real emotional hassles , he came over to me and asked if i wanted tea...I was in no mood . I looked far away and did not say anything...

Neverthe less  he made tea and told me to have tea...

then he said two things which i distinctly remember...
he said " do not be fooled by people who offer you small gains...look at the bigger picture...do not deal with guys who are unethical. They will offer you small enticements and try to get your advantage ..but ultimately do not bite their bait. Be with people who talk straight and do straight. "

Secondly
" Everything that happens happens for a reason, and life averages out. Never compare. There will always be bigger , better, and richer people than you ..but these people will also have bigger , better and more complex problems which you might not be aware of. Enjoy what you have and give whatever you can selflessly without expecting a return. If you are good do not expect that the world will be good to you..if you give 1 rupee..dont expect it back in any form"

I was a teen then and i guess all this went over my head then..! But now when i am faced with dissapointments I recall that conversation and think how true my dad was and is . Everytime something wrong has happened I have realised that "wrong" is a time based defination.

Whats wrong is a span of six monthes is a part of the "right" in a span of three years.
It depends where and how far from the "wrong" are you standing.
There are times when a decission seems very very bad...Its as if I made the biggest mistake of my life..but soon as things settle ..in the long run things do work out. I am somewhere close by to the place i wanted to be at this stage of my life...
Yes , there have been diversions , corrections and u turns but ultimately things do "average out".

Everytime I am faced with a desperate situation which is lose-lose ..I think i take the decission which is closest to what dad said to me that day. And I have generally made it safe and sound. Wherever I have digressed or have gone against this "common sense" I have taken a fall.

So almost by hit and miss approach I have made these two sentences the axiom of my life. Like the Euclid's fifth axiom(parallel lines do not meet)..these axioms will hold till proven otherwise..

## Friday, October 24, 2008

### The template for romance...

I am forever in awe of people who believe in romance..i mean the man-woman kind. Thats because i find it hard to see the genuineness behind it. Why? Let me explain...
• Most of the romances start with the guy being attracted to the girl. Why? Physical beauty is the true reason and beauty of heart is the politically correct one.(Contradiction 1-How can you know the beauty of heart shit before you know a girl? Is she wearing a heart grade sheet on her ?). Sometimes it is often the other way around but the chances are rare..so we neglect the case.
• Secondly , the guy keeps running behind her. Fulfilling her small wishes till she acknowledges his love and in turn falls in love.(contradiction2- If u can make some one fall in love by just running behind her..is it love or pity?)
• The girl and boy are now in love . Now she has put some conditions for love. He should not smoker, drink and be a good boy. (contradiction 3- Love is the alternate way for reform school? or maybe a juvenile delinquent school)
• Many gifts and presents later the guy claims that now the girl finally loves her very much and they are equally in love.(Contradiction 4- What is the bench mark for finally being in love? )
• Finally the time has come when the boy lands a job or the gal is to be married...They part tears later cursing the world that it has finally broken true love(contradiction 5- At the end of the day we make the decission we are most comfy with..why blame the world?)
This is played out from the perspective of college romance but it sounds true for office, train, and home romance. The most surprising thing that I find about such romances is how skewed they are in favour of one partner.
A guy in a love marriage is more often than not playing according to his wife. He says and does everything that his wife thinks its right. (Not that it does not happen in arranged marriages). Its surprising how much of a belief change that man goes through. He thinks and behaves exactly as is expected out of him..If his wife thinks that he has to be a modernist and applaud her wearing a bikini..he does it lamely (even though he realizes that other men are having a gala time at his expense). If his wife feels that its worthwhile to go to goa..the guy tucks his tail and runs along with her to goa.
I find it amusing and funny.

## Thursday, October 23, 2008

### Counting my blessings

What have i learnt from the life i have lived till now? I am fairly old and have gone through a great life till now. I have had expierances that most people dream about. I am yet to have a lot of expierances that i dream about. ..but sometimes when I collate whatever life has taught me till now, i can gather a few pearls of wisdom that i woudnt have learnt had life been a bit softer with me..! Today i thought that I would put down in words what i think are the biggest thruths in my life.

• If you have good freinds half of life's problems are solved.I am fortunate because i have great freinds. Great in the way that i feel comfortable with them stripped down to the basics. They may be bit rough around the edges and most of the times they greet me with choiciest of abuses but these are people who are genuine and true. Yes, we may not really be into collective beer baths or bachelor parties , but when i see people in corporate world and the freindships they carry ..i can only say , "thank god, i have real freinds". The freinds i have have literally carried me out from the dumps and made me see life in a better way. These are the people who have placed their personal prestige on hold to see me happy. Why should i not feel fortunate that i have freinds like this?
• The best thing in life is your health and peace of mind. When i see my class mates with beer bellies and double chins i realise that these guys are so helpless in a system that expoects them to work in coffe and pizza environment without a care for personal health. They earn tonnes and tonnes of money but spend most of that in an expensive gym trying to fast forward their health routine. Most of them are addicted to alcohol and smoke. And most of them are obese beyond repair. I look at them and feel great that I can still do a three day trek with ease..I can end my day with a run...I can say no to junk food and yes I can survive without alcohol. ..More than that i can sleep peacefully .
• Nothing in life is what it seems at first glance. Although life is beautiful and human beings are essentially nice, life is not what it seems at the first glance. I am not talking of appearances here. I am talking of relationships and feelings. Lurking amoungst genuine love and freindships are grade one actors who are out to take advantage of the smallest break in your armour. Its well nigh difficult to avoid them, to avoid them you have to lose your basic goodness which is really not worth it...hence the broken hearts and failed bonds. So what can you do to overcome them? Nothing much , just leave them and walk on. If you are a genuine guy , most likely you will end up with good guys. The bad guys will get it on their own...u need not waste time , thinking how to damn them. Just try learning and moving on.
• There is no such thing as a free lunch. Life is a total trade off and we all reach our optimum levels of sadness and hapiness . If some one has gained much, he has also lost much ..so its no use trying to compare or compete. With every reward you earn there is a pay off involved. While it may not be apparent in the start you will pay the price eventually.Its better to not be taken in by small sighted advantages over far reaching damages.
• There are two kinds of people whom you meet in life. One who inspire you to better things and others who pull you down to their levels. Its best that you avoid the second types ..however beneficial it may be to u.
• The only living gods one needs to worship is his /her parents. Nothing they do will be to intentionally harm you. Yes, they may make unintentional faults but that is too small a thing to hold out against them. They are worthy of worship and respect and more so when they grow old. Its our duty and dharma. Nothing can degrade the love and affection they have given us and we need to give it back in full measure.
Lets be thankfull for what we have and enjoy . Have we ever realised that we are always happy in the past or future. "when we were in school we were happy"...Or " if i win this I will be happy" ..how come we are never happy in present?.Lets learn to think that we can be happy now. Only then we shall stop turning to look at the past ever time we make a bend.

## Saturday, October 11, 2008

### Women bug me..

I am a confirmed heterosexual but there is sumthing about women that actually irritates the shit out of me. The sometimes drive me nuts with their logic and just when u think thats it..they drive it a bit more.
I seriously have given up hopes of having a good conversation with a female. Its not that they are intelligent. Its just that they are too intelligent. They think that everything they do or try to do is "right". Right , oh yeah! and who gives them the divine right to define so? Biology i presume , maam?
And if they dont understand a thing u are talking they will make it appear that thats the least important thing in the world.(any moron can tell u that laptop IS NOT the least important thing in the world) And they will point that out with their dainty manicured nails that this is the point. What the f\$%#\$....!!! How holier than thou..
Its always the men that are troubling them. Men are uncouth, mama's boys, dumb dickheads and sex maniacs out to rape every female animal on the road...!! Its just that they are putting up with us because they are such martyrs for the cause of mankind(ha ha ha ..pun intended).
As I was discussing with pradeep ..we both felt that the entry of a woman only complicates matters.
I see a woman driver I am all tuned up for an accident...I see a woman employee at the bank, i kno i am half impaired, I look at a woman waiter and there goes my order..I see a woman clerk and I have almost given up hope. They are there in name of feminism to make the world more murkier than it usually is. They will bring in factors that u never thought was important...
And no its not CUTE...More so when a woman who is NOT CUTE tries to be CUTE. That is entirely disgusting. Even in your wildest imagination you would puke trying to see a real ugly aunty be so coquettish for a small bargain. C'mon aunty , u are not exactly the barbie doll u think urself to be...Give us a break. We may be dumb but certainly not blind.

Women give an impression that we are a disgusting specis that they bear because of the greater good. And while men fall at their feet they walk all over them. Blame the bloody goddamn runaway libido that we have for our total lack of intelligence and total presence of omnipresent sex drive...We are slaves because of that . Had it not been for sex most women would have ended up from where they came from..Venus or Andromeda..wherever the f\$#^%\$^ place is...

## Tuesday, October 7, 2008

### How proud am I

Day in and day out i hear people tell things in such a way that i cant but marvel at the way they put it across. I mean they speak so randomly as to confuse you. I do not know if its a trait carefully cultivated or a success paradigm or just habbit...
Just the other day I was talking to Pradip and asked him about Visual Basic..he took me to his comp and showed me how to get to things...And it really looked so simple. Infact so simple that i wrote a small programme in it.
Contrast this to wat i asked another freind of mine "what is visual Basic"..his reply.."Well its a front end tool ..and very limited one"..
"Can you show me how to use it?"..
his answer.."Arrey yaar there are so many great books on it...i had made so and so project on that during my college days..."

"Can u show me how to use it"...

....Blank...

Whom do i appreciate more? A guy who is cool enuf to spend his time on teaching me or some one who tries to impress me with his jargon?

And this i find it happening more in life.
I met this freind of my freind who described herself as a "challenge taker girl"...I asked her as to the last challenging task she undertook.."Too many to recount" was her answer.
What do u make out of these guys. ..?
I mean before i joined navy I asked a cousin(who had joined and then left NDA) as to what was the schedule of millitary training..his answer.." Sabka ho jaata hai yaar..u just have to run well and run continously"
I try to give a more specific answer when some newbie comes to me...

And then there is this thing of pumping of things.
"when we were in NDA..." "When i took this girl out".."when i invested in so and so"...Who the f is interested yaar?
You may be the great leader in your dreams but you must realise the difference between vanity and pride. Pride is what you feel inside..Vanity is wat you try to feel outside.

The funniest part is when you run into people who boast about things that you thought were quite a common place . I remember talkin to a guy in train..he was boasting that he was doin MTech in IIT Delhi. I was actually impressed with his talk till I realised that what the heck..even I was a IIT MTech. But somehow i never felt so great.
I was always like "wats the big deal?, thousands have dun it before me..and thousands will follow after me.."
But the guy actually made me realise how great was such marketing...

I look up to guys in admiration due to the way they market themselves. Its amazing. And I am not being patronising.
They are so good at it and I am so pathetic. Maybe I got a lot to learn..Maybe with enough efforts I can learn. I have been makin a fool of myself every now and then...

## Monday, October 6, 2008

### Truth..

I believe in the power of truth. It has come to me not in a day but in some twenty eight years of living. I do not know if I am being stupid or unnecessarily idealistic but somewhere deep down inside me , I believe that if I am speaking the truth I have nothing to fear.
There have been a lot of instances in my life where I have seen that if you are armed with truth you can win lots of battles. While that does not mean you become naive and simple, it simply means that if you want to win , you should side the truth. Even if things look drab and dark in short term , standing by the truth will ultimately make you the winner...
Now one can say that we got many versions of the truth..which one to stand for?...I would suggest you stand for the truth your heart believes in. Not by logic but by faith. If I believe that giving alms to beggers is bad..that is the truth to me. How does that matter if some one believes otherwise..

## Sunday, October 5, 2008

### Everything breaks

I wrote this poem on a peice of napkin sittin at my fav restaurant , Piccadily, Colaba. What prompted it was a glass that the waiter dropped and broke...What made it more tragic was that the glass contained my iced tea..Such is life.Enjoy the poem

Everything breaks..
Day breakes, nights break..
The flow of time breaks..
Illusions break , they painfully break..
relations break, they so painfully break..
Men break, women break..
Children,oh they do break...
The coastline breaks, the oceans break..
The truth breaks and so does the lies...
The water breaks, and so  does the skies...
Love breaks, rage breaks..
The play breaks, so does the stage...
..and how do they..
..and how do they...
With a crack, a whimper and a whisper...
with a limp and a swagger..
But they do break...
and how they break...
to leave behind the debris ..
Of a new begining..
Of a new bond and of a new break