What do u do when some one u trust with ur life(not necessarily ur gf or wife) ..does a volte face and turns out to be the exact opposite of the person u thought u had been seeing..?
I feel initially there is this total denial..denial of reality of circumstances and situations. Suddenly u feel like thinking that thsi is not the real world ,maybe i will wake up in sumtime and this all will go away.
When u feel that this concept doesnt work.ur self denial turns to greif at the loss. A grief that some how and somewhere u have been responsible for the loss. U have made the bad thing happen. You have made this guy turn away. It is a phase that consists of self blaming. Your confidence takes a nosedive ..and god forbid if u have no close friends..u can be suicidal. Its this phase that one finds described in arts and music as the painful loss. The second phase can last as long as u want it to last. The best and worst part about it is the fact that if u want badly ..u can pull out.
The third phase is more of a reconciliation phase where u drag the truth to the surgery table and dissect it impartially. Look at the diseased parts, see where things are rotten and where things are ok. Once u do this u are well on ur path to growing up. Doing this makes u realise that if u are hurt by this happening ...probably u are not responsible. And suddenly the world seems a much clearer place. Things start falling into perspective and u conclude that watever has happened has happened for good..
The forth and the most lasting phase is that of a constant simmering anger of being taken for a ride.This anger lasts ...! If u can forgive that guy/gal...buddy then u are in for a similar shock
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