I dont know if everyone goes through a phase in life where he/she is somewhere not interested in wat goes around. But I somehow have a strong feeling of passing through that stage where actually very little bothers me and I am really interested in a very narrow range of things...
I have this feeling that somehow I am observing the world from a height where I can point out the futility of it all ...work, life ,relationships etc. Sometimes I find the seriousness of others actually puzzling. Seriousness about life ..about small things in life . sometimes I actually virtually tap them on the shoulders and say ' err why dont we grow up?"..
Most things actually look petty to me nowadays. And more so when people make sweeping statements ,I feel like saying " how come u are so sure of that?". There is a certain lack of belief in any system that I find creeping inside me and instead of being scared I am quite enjoying it.
The flip side of this whole expierance is that I have started looking down on some kind of persons..persons who feel that they are important,persons who are self proclaimed martyrs, persons who are very sure of their faith, persons who are manipulative, persons who refuse to acknowledge what lies before them...and many more.
I dont think thats a great idea to look down on some one ..because that makes me very negative about most of the things. Its difficult to have faith when u look down on people . Its not a good thing ...maybe.
so wat do i feel like doing..
I want to take a vacation with my sketchpad and go to Diu and finish 100 sketches a day ..I want to fill all the sketchbooks i have bought..finish all the colors I have...I want to take a short course on applied mathematics..learn matlab better...i want to write a story...i just want to sit and look at people...I want to read ayn rand...I want to drive ...i want to learn proper gymming..
And not really feel like doing..
talking to stupid people, attending stupid functions, giving stupid exams and doing stupid mundane things which really have a negative contribution on my grey matter..
2 comments:
Wow....!! this post to me is a master piece. I would have written something very similar! This is the exact frame of mind I too have, but I call it "Detached" rather than "Not Interested". Because, I am in a way slightly interested and amused about how people take things so seriously. I too have this feeling of sitting on a cloud and looking at the population of a city, people all over running around here and there. Then I ask a question "what is the purpose of life of these individuals?" "How does it matter the grand scheme of the universe, if a nuclear bomb drops on this city right now killing every one?" Then I visualize myself on ground as one among the great population of the city. Then I ask "what is puropose of my life?" and so on... I loved the the list of things that you want to do.
Incidentally, I recently saw this talk on importance of mathematics and I think you will also enjoy it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsIJN4YMZZo
hey pradeep, I knew that u wud somehow relate to this post more than anyone else. Conciously or sub conciously we have had many talks on this ....
Its just that I felt like penning down these thoughts now.
Catch you soon..missing our "ted talks" :)
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